Saturday, January 24, 2009

Late Night Music Part 2................Musical Families

One of my personal favorite things about music is the personal entertainment value of the musical family. Seriously, think about it. Every musical family I can think of is either really really awesome or really corny and quite frankly just horrible to even think about. Just because you have a few instances where it really worked with groups like The Carpenters (great songwriter and a charismatic female lead singer), The Bee Gees (caught their niche at the right time), The Staples Singers (just dripping with cool), and the Jackson 5 (not fair to have that much talent in the same gene pool), most have been pretty laughable. Knowing me though, you knew I would have to scour youtube for these musical trainwrecks like I was finding lost treasures. Anyway, the night's playlist has gone something like this:

"You've Got It All" by the Jets. This Polynesian singing Latter-Day Saint family from Minneapolis not only made their mother's womb a clown car, they gave us some of the cheesiest videos ever made. This group of 8 (5 boys, 3 girls) completely lost me in the video for this song. First of all, what in the world is up with the diner theme? (video can be seen here)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe5rg05ZQNs

Does anything about these guys make you want to be as cool as them? Who is the one poor guy in the video she is singing to? I guess The Jets were a case of a dad making his kids be musicians. However, I have to say not only do I own the Jets 20th century masters CD, I also had the song put on the playlists at 3 functions at Mississippi College. Oh, the guilty pleasures.


"Time Will Reveal" by DeBarge. This one is interesting for several reasons. First of all, there's no doubt El DeBarge and his band of siblings had mad talent. This song is one of my favorite songs ever and the cover by Boyz II Men is absolutely spectacular. However, just look at these guys. I mean seriously- has any group in pop music history ever looked more ridiculous? They seriously look like a cross between Prince, Flock of Seagulls, and Kool and the Gang on crack. El DeBarge has got to be one of the strangest individuals alive, and that's real talk. However, despite their flamboyant feminism and weird lifestyles, I have to say I own the cassette of "Rhythm of the Night", which was probably the band's peak in the early 80's, as well as a "Best of" CD. I just try not to look at the cover.

"I Love the Flower Girl" by the Cowsills. This Rhode Island family, which was the original inspiration for the hit TV Show "The Partridge Family" actually wasn't THAT bad........until mom joined the band. No offense to you mothers out there, but nothing is cool about being in a rock band with your mom. Their dad was just so psycho he dressed them up like ridiculous looking cabbage patch kids and forced the mother to be in the band. This eventually led the band to not only fall apart, but fall apart tragically with four of the family members being deceased now. I like listening to the Cowsills and thinking about what could have been if the older kids would have been able to really display their talents in different ways. As sad as the story is though, these guys are fun to watch........in private.

"Anything" by 3T. These 3 sons of Tito Jackson have got to be the biggest disappointment in music since Wilson Phillips, and at least Wilson Phillips had some good looking members. These 3 brothers are the sons of one of the coolest people ever and look like a cross between immature, tony toni tone, kriss kross, and midgets hopped up on mountain dew. I don't know if they thought that was the "style" or what, but they didn't even use what so many artists have before them and call their Uncle Michael to at least help out. Not only can these guys not sing, I watch the video and I wonder if they are just singing in unison and then having studio singers sing the parts, because whenever they trade off lead vocals it all sounds the same. Unlike most groups on this list, I think this group sucks. Maybe there should be a rule against "Second Generation" musical families.

"You Dropped the Bomb on Me" by the Gap Band. These Tulsa, Oklahoma brothers forgot to get the memo that funk was dead by 1982 and look ridiculous in this video and I seriously think Earth, Wind, and Fire could sue them for stealing their look. When you don't see their ridiculous outfits in the video, you get dizzy looking at all the figher planes "dropping bombs". To add insult to injury, front man Charlie Wilson has a "solo career" which his whole persona is that of a sexy 25 year old. Wow these guys are sad. I guess I am too though, another guilty pleasure band here.

"Heartbeat (It's a Lovebeat)" by the DeFranco Family. Ok, these kids parents should be arrested for how ridiculous they made their kids look. This was actually a pretty catchy tune by these Canadians, but I have seriously NEVER in my life seen more ridiculous choreography than what was forced on these poor kids. Did their parents even have a soul? Knowing me though, you know I'm a huge fan of this song, but I'll draw the line at being a fan of the video. Even I won't cross that line.



We look like idiots, so how can we fix our image? Let's be cool and put mom in our rock band!!!!!
A family of 8.......just drips with cool to me.
Seriously, have you EVER seen anything more ridiculous than these guys?

1 Comments:

Blogger ALLYSHA said...

I always HATED 3T, not because they didn't have talent, but because my sister that I shared a room with at that time frickin loved them and played that single to DEATH. Ugh. Still don't like them (and secretly thought they were all gay...although not so secretly now). Don't look at me that way! I thought the same thing about Tevin Campbell and we all know how that turned out. And 3T definitely gave off a Tevin kind of vibe ;)

3:11 AM  

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